Columbia Magazine

Kentucky Color: Great Wooded South University Research

2021-01-10 - Adair Co., KY - Photo by Billy Joe Fudge
By Billy Joe Fudge

GWSU Physics researchers have accelerated their research into an anomaly which appeared in the Space Time Continuum several decades ago and has continued to generate a flux in the Continuum itself. Our researchers from the beginning surmised that this riff was centered around the third planet from our Sun, Earth. After almost 24/7/365 effort by the department in conjunction with Space Anomaly Researchers around the world, it appears a breakthrough is imminent.

Leaks from this prestigious institution seem to indicate that the breakthrough is centered around the horizontal nature of the lower buttonhole of a man's button up shirt. Given that all other button holes are vertical, it seems that this riff could have been easily avoided. Research is continuing and initial reports should be released soon.
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